Father’s Whiskers

(Prelude to all verses:)

We have a dear old daddy, For whom we daily pray,

He has a set of whiskers, that are always in the way,

Verses:

Father had a strong back, Now it's all caved in,

He stepped upon his whiskers, And walked up to his chin.

Chorus:

They're always in the way, they're always in the way,

Momma eats 'em in her sleep and thinks she's eating shredded wheat,

They're always in the way, they're always in the way,

They hide the dirt on daddy's shirt, but they're always in the way.

 

Around the supper table, we make a merry group,

Until father's whiskers, get tangled in the soup.

Each morning during breakfast, the baby thinks it's nice,

To climb up in his whiskers, and hear him chew his rice.

We have a dear old sister, it really is a laugh

She sprinkles father’s whiskers as bath salts in her bath

Father fought in Flanders, He wasn't killed, you see;

His whiskers looked like bushes, And fooled the enemy.

When Father goes in swimming, No bathing suit for him,

He ties his whiskers 'round his waist, And gaily plunges in.

Father went out sailing, The wind blew down the mast;

He hoisted up his whiskers, And never went so fast.

Father went out skiing, He thought he'd try a schuss,

He caught his whiskers on his skis And landed on his puss.