Away With Rum

We're coming, we're coming, our brave little band.

On the right side of temperance, we now take our stand.

We don't use tobacco because we do think,

That the people who use it are likely to drink!

Chorus:

Away, away with rum, by gum, with rum by gum with rum, by gum.

Away, away with rum by gum; The song of the Temperance Union

 

We never eat cookies because they have yeast,

and one little bite turns a man to a beast.

Oh, can you imagine a sadder disgrace

Than a man in the gutter with crumbs on his face.

We never eat fruitcake because it has rum,

and one little slice puts a man on the bum.

Oh can you imagine a sorrier sight

Than a man eating fruitcake until he gets tight.

We never drink coffee, it makes your eyes gleam,

At least when you add Irish whiskey and cream,

Can you imagine a fate more unkind,

Than slugging down coffee and getting stone blind.

Shun girls who are pretty and witty and kind,

There’s nothing like love for corrupting your mind

At least in our circle, it just isn’t done,

Our kids are adopted, we NEVER have fun.

* This is one of those songs with a large number of verses added by people as time goes on.